When the First Message Decides Everything


Dialog is not only a tool to solve most problems people face every day but also a way to get something you want. The way you hold a conversation with a certain person can affect the further development of your relationships with them big time.

When it comes to online dating, it’s the first message that sets the tone of the whole conversation. And its importance increases even more when you realize that everything depends on this first message – whether the person you are reaching out to will answer you or not.

Therefore, let’s figure out how to write the first message that will guarantee you good results on dating sites.

When the First Message Decides Everything
When the First Message Decides Everything

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Choose the Appropriate Tone

When starting a conversation on a dating platform, the tone of your first message fully depends on what kind of dates you pursue and what your goals are. For example, if you seek long-term relationships on a matchmaking platform where people seek lasting love, you can’t reach out to someone and say something naughty.

It will be considered rude and unacceptable; thus, chances are no one will answer you. When looking for love and relationships, it’s better to start a conversation with something simple and friendly:

  • Hi! I really like the photo you posted. It seems that you enjoy traveling. Me too! What countries have you been to?
  • Hey! You say in your profile that you’re doing yoga. I always wanted to try it too. 🙂 Do you have any advice for a newbie?
  • It seems that we have similar life goals, so I wanted to say Hi. Hi! Wanna talk?

On the other hand, if your request is “I want to find hookups near me,” the tone of your first message can change completely. If you want to hook up with the person you are reaching out to, go for something that will make you appear attractive and make them want to answer you.

The first message can be playful, naughty, or even just friendly if you are a shy type and want to start out subtle.

  • I saw your selfie and couldn’t help myself, you look so sexy. Wanna chat?
  • Hey! I’m looking for a company tonight if you know what I mean. 😉 Are you interested?
  • Can I be honest? I saw your profile a few days ago and couldn’t sleep since. Is there any chance you want to chat? 🙂

The difference between the tone of messages on a traditional dating site and a website made for causal dating is obvious. So, make sure to choose the platform that will serve your current need, and then use your imagination to come up with a message that isn’t boring as a dull “Hi, wanna have sex tonight?”

How to Keep the Conversation Going

If, after your first message, the person you wrote to responded in a positive manner and is obviously ready to chat with you, it’s time to move on to the second stage.

It’s not enough to get the person interested in you since the first message is just a beginning of a conversation. To get the results you want, you need to know how to keep it going well.

In order for your potential date partner to agree to meet you, avoid inappropriate jokes, as well as discussions of politics and religion, and act sweet.

Remember that even if you’re looking for a one-night stand, you must make your partner feel comfortable talking to you. So don’t be rude, ask questions, and get to know them better. If you do it right, the date won’t be long in coming.

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